Cruel Comments


This blog is not to the general public. It is not to my family and friends. You are all welcome to read it, of course, but it is written to a specific target and they know who they are. Here you go hater. This is what your comments caused.

I am so, so far from perfect. I have so many issues that some of my issues have issues of their own. I try to be a good person. I’m not always successful. I have an Irish temper. I inherited it honestly. Over the years I have tried to learn to control my temper and behave rationally no matter how angry I am. I am not always successful. Sometimes I get mad and my mouth starts running and before I can catch it, damage is done. Sometimes I hurt the people that I love the most. I am always sorry. I always feel terribly. Even in those times when I was told that what I said was not out of line or that the person might have deserved it, even then I felt terribly. I have never hurt a person without feeling bad about it. I admit, that I have hurt a lot of people, but no one more than myself. I feel bad about that too. For all the times that I said something nasty to someone, whether it was true or not, I have felt ashamed of myself. For all those tears that I have caused, no matter how I felt about the person doing the crying, I have felt guilty. My heart has hurt for every one of the hurts that I have caused and in some cases, I hurt myself way more than the other person.

For all of my mistakes, I can honestly say that I have never attacked a perfect stranger for no good reason. I have never lashed out and said horrible things to someone I didn’t know just because I could. Not that there is ever an excuse for hurting someone, but at least there should be a reason. To attack someone without provocation and cause them pain just because you can is unimaginable to me, yet it has been done to me.

In the months that I have been making YouTube videos I have met some wonderful people. I have made close friends who I love and value more than I can say. I have found support, encouragement and inspiration from people I may never have met otherwise. It has brought me together with people who I hope will always be in my life and though I have never met them in person, many of them have become very important to me.  I am so grateful for all of them and for the opportunity to share our lives with each other. Sadly, it has also brought some nasty people into my life.

There are people on YouTube who have nothing better to do than to go around watching videos and making nasty comments on them. Sometimes they are snide and mocking, belittling, insulting and crude. Sometimes they are downright cruel. I’ve heard them called trolls and haters and some other more colorful names, but whatever they are called, I think they need to be called out.

Now I realize that there is freedom of speech and people have the right to say that they don’t like my videos. That is fine, but they can say that without being ignorant. You can give feedback, positive or negative, without hurting people terribly. While I would rather have everyone tell me that I am wonderful, I am well aware that I am not everyone’s cup of tea. Please feel free to dislike me in a positive way or at the very least, dislike me from a distance. If you don’t like me, you don’t have to watch my videos. You can go on your merry way and leave me alone.

It is very hard to have the courage to make a video about yourself, share yourself, your experiences and your feelings with the world. It is scary to post that video and allow others to see you for who you really are. I know that I willingly put myself out there to be loved or hated, accepted or rejected, and I am willing to face whatever the outcome is, but I don’t think that I should have to be hurt because some people have no sympathy, empathy or tact.

I think that some people get lost in the anonymity of being online. Because you aren’t physically talking to someone, you lose some perspective of things. If you don’t hear yourself say something and see the other person’s reaction, you might not realize the implications of your comments. I’m certain that some of the nasty comments made are simply miscommunication and not meant to be hurtful. Those comments I usually brush off with little further thought. It is the comments that have no possible interpretation other than cruelty. Some comments are made that are so hurtful, I can’t image how anyone can type them without feeling horrible about doing it. I always wonder, when I read comments like that, if I were standing in front of you, would you say that to my face? If your mother, sister or daughter was standing beside you watching what you write, would you still spew your venom? If you knew that I went to bed and cried myself to sleep because you chose to attack me, a perfect stranger, for no other reason than the fact that you have freedom of speech, would that make you stop and think before you leave me another nasty message?

The fact is that I do have a choice whether or not to post videos and I choose to put myself out there. 99% of the time I am glad that I do. I also have a choice in how I react to the comments that I get and whether or not I let them hurt me. Most of the time I don’t, but sometimes I do. Sometimes I let my emotions overwhelm me, and yes, sometimes I am mean, but I am never cruel. Can you say the same?

Please, please, please!!!


If you have been reading my blogs, watching my vlogs, followingmy YouTube, friending me on Facebook, or have been anywhere near me at any time in the last several months, then you know what I’ve been doing. I’ve been working my butt off, literally, getting healthy and rocking the Body by Vi 90 Day challenge(s). I have been taking part in the ViSalus Challenge Showdown, making videos about my weight loss journey and posting them for all the world to see. Well yesterday was the last day to post videos for the Showdown. Today they posted the top 100 channels for everyone to vote on. There were over 5,000 channels entered into the contest and I am so excited to be one of the top 100 channels that advanced to the Showdown Throwdown. Out of these 100 channels, 10 will be picked to win their own webshow produced by none other than the amazing Ben Silverman. I would LOVE the opportunity to share my story, my weight loss journey, with the world. Please help to do that! Please rate my channel a 10 so I can be one of the top 10!!! Thank you!

via Watch, Rate and Share My Video.

The End Has Come


Today is the last day to submit videos for the ViSalus Showdown Challenge. It is bittersweet. I didn’t even want to do this initially, but I am SO glad that I did. It has been an amazing experience and even if I don’t win, I am glad that I participated. Here is my final video.  Watch, Rate and Share My Video.

ViSalus Put ME In Their Video!!!!


I admit that I am somewhat of a YouTube Junkie these days. I resisted the idea of making video blogs like I resisted having my picture taken, because I hated to look at myself and I have ALWAYS hated the sound of my voice. I am emotional, moody, silly, goofy and generally I think I look crazy on video. Still, when I started the Body by Vi 90 Day Challenge, I decided to go all in. I decided that I would take lots of pictures of my weight loss journey and I would sign up for the Show Down Challenge and begin making video blogs. I was just as surprised as anyone, if not more, how much I love it.

I love making videos to talk about my weight loss (and other issues) because in a video you can hear my tone of voice. Sometimes when I write it sounds one way in my head, but does not come across that way in my writing. When you hear me talk, you can usually tell the difference. I also love seeing the changes in myself over time. A photograph does show these changes, but it is more amazing in real life. The difference in my face alone over the last 3 months is amazing. I can’t wait to see what it is in every month in the future. The Showdown Challenge is almost over. The last day is October 22. Then the top 100 channels go on a website for people to vote on their favorites for the top 10 which will get their own webshow produced by Ben Silverman.  I would absolutely LOVE to be in top 100. I guess we’ll see soon enough if I am.

I also love watching other people’s vlogs. I have joined an amazing group of people on YouTube’s weight loss community. They are supportive, encouraging, motivating and captivating. I absolutely love watching their videos and feeling like we are all a part of each other’s journey.

All that being said, last night I was on YouTube looking at videos. I was planning to make a new vlog last night and I was just checking in on what everyone was doing. On my main page where it shows new videos from the people I am subscribed to, I saw my own picture on a ViSalus video. Of course I had to go look. It was a short video and you can watch it here: ViSalus Video Cheer the Champs . I was so amazed, honored, and overwhelmed that they picked me to go in the video. It is only a very short shot of the screen of one of my videos, but still, I am in there right before Blake Mallen and Tyler Howard (2 very sexy and incredible Vi men). How awesome is that??? OMG!!!  So, I, of course, had to make a response video and yes I was emotional. You can watch it here: Watch, Rate and Share My Video.

I love Body by Vi. It is changing my life every day and I am so SO grateful for it. I want to shout it from the roof tops and tell all the world. Its pretty cool that I am one step closer to being able to do that.